Awareness-based human flourishing
This article was originally published in Heartfulness Magazine in a 2-part series: Practices for Human Flourishing (Feb24) | Connecting with Life (Mar24)
Like my Portuguese ancestors who explored the world in search of goods, I’ve also been exploring in the last decades different tools, methodologies, and approaches that contribute to Human Flourishing — the blossoming of the human spirit, and full realization of one’s potential for goodness and compassion, as well as the understanding of the interconnectedness we share with each other and our environment. These include awareness-based practices, such as Mindfulness or Presencing, to trauma-informed methodologies, such as Polyvagal Theory, Internal Family Systems, or Compassionate Inquiry (Gabor Mate’s methodology), and, of course, heart-rooted approaches, like Giftivism and the timeless wisdom of Heartfulness, which is where I find my spiritual “home.”
At some point during my quest, I started to see and sense connections between these different fields and how they could be brought together to allow us to flourish into our potential as humans. That led to the design and craft of experiences, retreats, and programs we’ve delivered to hundreds of people worldwide in the past years. We like to call it “awareness-based human flourishing” since there is the underlying notion that by increasing our awareness about different aspects of ourselves, we can also become more conscious of our innate basic wisdom, our underlying sanity, and, from that space of deeper consciousness, to be more capable of acting in the world in ways that are wiser, saner and more compassionate (towards ourselves, towards other people, and towards Life as a whole).
Let me share some thoughts and suggestions for practices and see how they resonate with you. Be the scientist and take everything you find helpful; leave all the rest.
Integral awareness
Let’s start with the notion that we are composed and part of many different systems and sub-systems and that by increasing our awareness, we can also increase our choices and capacity to integrate those same systems. Beyond many others, here are five systems or “bodies” I invite you to consider and that we’re going to bring our awareness into:
— Gross body (physical body)
— Subtle body (mind)
— Causal body (Self, with a capital S)
— Social body (community/relationships)
— Big body (Life)
Take a moment to become aware of the present moment and the different layers of your experience:
— let’s start by noticing how Life is coming through your different senses at this moment. What can you notice regarding sounds, smells, and sights? Any taste you can notice in your mouth? What signals are you receiving through your skin regarding touch, temperature, and humidity?
— now bringing awareness to the physical body. How’s your physical body at this moment? Relaxed, tense, agitated, anxious, tired…? Is your breath fast or slow? Deep or shallow? Any particular tension in the body? What happens if you let go of even a fraction of it?
— how about your inner world, your mind? Any thoughts, images, voices, or emotions you notice? What is the “inner weather” like? See if you can witness these inner movements without any judgment. What are these parts trying to tell you?
— diving deeper into the Heart, can you sense a timeless, wise presence? What do you notice when you connect with that deeper and still space, with your (higher) Self?
— keeping the awareness rooted in the heart but expanding it now to include all beings you are connected with. Family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers… Does anyone in particular come to mind? Feel those connections, heart to heart. Who are you connected with?
— expanding at last your heart connection to other beings, to the whole web of Life. Can you sense that connection? Can you feel the inter-beingness? Can you sense that you’re part of a larger whole, a larger “being”?
— use this last moment to rest your awareness on all these different phenomena happening simultaneously in these different “bodies.” Nothing to achieve. Simply a wide-open awareness, an open Heart that includes everything and everyone. Finish by asking: “What’s the wisest and most compassionate thing I can do now that can contribute to a Greater Good?”. Don’t think about the answer. Simply notice any inner guidance that might emerge in the form of thoughts, intuitions, body sensations, etc. And if nothing emerges, that’s fine. Maybe the best action at this moment is no action at all.
Let’s zoom in now into these different bodies, starting with the Physhical body, then expanding to include the Mind and Relationships and then expanding even more to embark our deeper Self and our relationship with Life.
Physical body
Let’s “zoom in” now on our physical bodies. There are many “data points” we could pay attention to, but the one I’m going to invite you to notice is the general “tone” of your autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS is responsible for many bodily processes, especially keeping us safe and alive. It controls digestion, the breath, the heart beating, and so many other things. But most importantly, it controls our energy level and emotions (i.e., energy in motion) according to its perception of danger vs safety. If it senses that we are safe, our ANS becomes regulated, and we might feel calm, relaxed, engaged, connected, grounded, curious, playful, and so on. We can think clearly and connect with others from a place of curiosity. If, however, it senses danger, it might either activate a mobilization response (also known as “fight or flight” or stress response), elevating the level of energy in our system and making us feel hyper-alert, scared, under pressure, irritated, anxious or judgmental; or an immobilization response, lowering the energy levels to the minimum and helping us to survive by “disappearance” (also known as the “faint response”), which can make us feel immobilized, without energy, numb, hopeless, lost, or disconnected from ourselves and everything around us.
There are other states, like the freeze response, when we cannot think or even move, which is a blended response between mobilization and immobilization, almost like having the break and the accelerator in the car pressed simultaneously, but let’s keep now with the main three main states above: regulation, mobilization, and immobilization.
Why is this important? Because how we feel directly impacts how we perceive the world around us and the narratives we tell ourselves about it.
Why is this important? Because how we feel directly impacts how we perceive the world around us and the narratives we tell ourselves about it. If we feel angry, we will perceive the world as dangerous and others as a threat. If we feel sad and numb, we might perceive the world as meaningless and lose the capacity to connect with others and our life purpose. But if we feel calm, regulated, and safe, we can navigate the world and our relationship with ourselves and others from a much deeper and saner place. So, the main message here is that if we change our physiology and the “tone” of our ANS, we also change how we perceive and relate to the world.
How to do it, then? Many things impact the regulation of our ANS, such as the number of hours we sleep, the type of food we eat, the time spent in nature, the importance of exercising our bodies, and so on. But there is one that is very accessible and simple, which is our breath. The breath is one of the few things we can control directly from our ANS (for some reason, it is called autonomic since it controls most processes autonomously). Yogis have known this for ages, using Pranayama exercises to regulate themselves and achieve specific internal experiences. Here is something you can try:
- place one hand on the belly and another on the chest. Notice how your hands move with the breath for 30–60 seconds;
- notice now what is the main “tone” of your ANS: is it “mobilized” (e.g., feeling anxious, irritated, etc.), “immobilized” (e.g., feeling numb, sad, without energy, etc.) or regulated (e.g., feeling calm, relaxed, etc.)?
- according to your main tone, try one of the following possibilities:
- 3.1 If your system is “mobilized”, close your right nostril and take some deep in-breaths from the left nostril, breathing out slowly through the mouth (the out-breath should be longer than the in-breath). Do this about ten times, and when you feel more regulated, you can move to the last step (3.3)
- 3.2. If your system is “immobilized,” close your left nostril and take some fast and vigorous breaths through the right one. Here, the in-breath should be longer than the out-breath. Do that for a minute or two and then move to the last step (3.3.)
- 3.3 If your system is regulated, rest your awareness in the breath. Breathe in, counting to 4, and breathe out, counting to 6. If the mind wanders, bring it back to the breath. Notice what happens and if it allows you to become even more grounded.
Another beneficial practice I recommend, especially if you’re feeling “mobilized,” is the Heartfulness Relaxation, which you can try on your own (https://bit.ly/hfnrelax).
Expanding to the Mind and our Community
Let’s expand now to the inner and outer worlds, specifically our minds and our relationships with other people. Starting with our minds, take a moment to notice all the different “inner movements” that might be present. If you are like most people, you’ll notice that your mind is inhabited by many different voices, thoughts, images, and other phenomena. It is almost like there are many different “people” living inside our heads. And they do not always agree with each other. Maybe a part of you wants to be reading this, while another is bored and wants to check social media. Or a part of you wants to go out and eat with friends, while another wants to stay at home alone and order a pizza. Maybe one is compassionate, loving, and kind, and another is aggressive and has “nasty” thoughts (towards others and/or yourself).
This multiplicity of our minds is not only normal but expected. It is not a sign of trauma or that there is something wrong with us. It is simply the way it is.
This multiplicity of our minds is not only normal but expected. It is not a sign of trauma or that there is something wrong with us. It is simply the way it is. So, the first thing I would like to invite you is to stop fighting your thoughts and these inner parts. The second thing I would like to invite you to consider is that all these parts actually have good intentions. Yes, including the one that criticizes you, the other that is selfish towards others, and even that one that sometimes makes you do things that you are not proud of (like engaging in addictive behaviors such as food, drugs, sex, pornography, shopping, work and so on). What would happen if you discovered that all these parts are, in fact, trying to help you? Maybe the inner critic is just making sure it criticizes us first to ensure that others do not criticize us later. Or that the one who is using addictions is just trying to distract us from feeling the pain (physical or emotional) or the negative beliefs we carry inside. Perhaps the one who shows up as “arrogant” or puts a “cold” and “closed” face to others is just protecting a vulnerable part inside that was hurt in the past and pledged to make sure that we would not show vulnerability to others anymore.
What would change if we started to relate with these inner parts from a place of compassion and understanding? Here are some things you can try to regulate your mind and connect with your inner world:
1. Cleaning: one thing very helpful is the practice of heartfulness cleaning (https://bit.ly/hfncleaning), which allows us to let go of all the complexities and impurities our parts carry inside, regulating our minds and increasing our awareness.
2. Awareness of parts: notice the parts/sub-personalities that live inside you all the time. How do they manifest? Thoughts, images, inner voices, color, sensations? When you notice one, try to find where it lives in or around your body. Is it in the head? The shoulders? The gut? The Heart? Behind the back? Notice how it manifests with curiosity and kindness. What happens when you pay attention to it without judgment?
3. If you find an inner part, try this next step: ask it some questions. Yes, try asking the part some questions and don’t think about the answers. Simply notice if something emerges from within. For instance, ask it how old it thinks you are (if it shares a different number from your age, you can tell the part your actual age and update it). Or “Why do you do what you do?”. Another question that might be helpful is, “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do your job?”
4. If you want to go a step further, see if it is possible to extend some compassion and understanding to the part. Let it know with your inner voice you understand and respect what it’s trying to do for you. Notice how it reacts.
5. Lastly, ask it what it needs from you — if there is something you can do or stop doing in order for it to relax, as it has been working so hard to help you?
What would happen if we could do the same with other people? To see them beyond the masks they show in the world? To realize that all of us have these different parts that are trying their best to make us happy and not suffer. Try to see beyond the mask the next time you engage with someone. Maybe behind the mask of a highly intellectual part hides a 7-year-old child who doesn’t know how to manage their own emotions and took refuge in the conceptual space since it was safer than feeling all the turbulence in which they grew up. Maybe behind that terrifying bully hides a scared and vulnerable child who is afraid of being too fragile. Perhaps behind that highly “perfectionist” part lies a child who believes they are never enough.
We are all trying our best, and deep inside, we all want to be seen, valued and loved. Can you see beyond the mask? What would happen if you allowed some heartful wishes to be directed towards the people around you? Try with your inner voice to wish them well (it can be something as simple as “May they be happy; may they be free from suffering; may they be at peace”) and notice how it profoundly impacts how you feel and how it allows you to sense into our common humanity.
Becoming Whole, connecting our Essence with Life
Life is a great Mystery, and many times we wonder about our role and who we really are. I invite you to get in touch with the depths of your Heart and reflect on the following questions:
— What is the real goal or purpose of Human life?
— What blocks us from manifesting that potential?
— Who can help us flourish into that higher possibility?
I’m always inspired by a letter that Einstein once wrote to his daughter: “A human being is a part of the whole called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts, and his feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
That, to me, seems like an inspiring answer to the first question, that our real goal is to dissolve our boundaries and unite with the whole, unite with the Universe/Life/Source/God (use the term you prefer and that resonates the most). That is what words such as yoga or religion seem to point to in their origins.
So, what is blocking the way to achieving that goal? What really stops us is our ego, with its fears, desires, attachments, and the parts of us that, although trying to protect us, end up creating even more constriction and boundaries between ourselves, other people, and Life in general. As some say, the word ego can be an acronym for “edging God out,” which seems entirely aligned with what blocks us from flourishing.
How can we then move from “ego to eco,” from the constriction of our small self to the infinite expansion of our being, our (higher) Self, connecting with the whole web of life? And who can help in achieving that? I believe the answer lies inside, beyond the body, and beyond the mind. It resides in our Heart. In the Heart of our Heart, in the Self (with a capital S), that deeper “healthy core” inside, that inner divine light that has always been shinning, as the Chandogya Upanishad pointed to many centuries ago: “There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the light that shines in your heart”.
As we connect with that inner divine presence within, we can start getting guidance to attune to Life. We start “stepping out” of our own way and letting Life live through us. Here, the words “surrender” and “service” become the beacons for our existence. We start surrendering to the guidance that Life is constantly sending us, picking it with our Hearts, which in turn then guide us in the right direction, the direction of manifesting who we truly are in the World and how we can be of Service to this larger existence we are all part of, contributing to a greater good. Step by step, we become like a walking prayer, as this definition from Br. David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, points to: “Prayer is not sending an order and expecting it to be fulfilled. Prayer is attuning yourself to the life of the world, to Love, the force that moves the sun and the moon and the stars.”
I find many practices helpful to establish, attune, and nurture that connection with Source, but the main ones guiding my journey have been Heartfulness Meditation (https://bit.ly/hfnmedit) and the Heartfulness Prayer.
Prayer helps to create an inner connection with that Divine presence, and meditation strengthens it, allowing us to be in tune with Nature and evolve spiritually.
Prayer helps to create an inner connection with that Divine presence, and meditation strengthens it, allowing us to be in tune with Nature and evolve spiritually.
We are all sparks of the Divine, walking each other home, back to the Source. What would happen if we could maintain that connection to Source, that remembrance of the divine within and outside? To see ourselves and others beyond our masks? To see us all as one, part of the same Being? Imagine a world like that.
Is it easy to do? No. Is it possible? Yes. It takes one step at a time, expanding our awareness to a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness we share with each other and our environment. The more we expand, the more we can include and transcend our boundaries and realize our full potential for goodness, compassion, and peace while navigating through the challenges of Life. As the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr once said: “Change is the essence of Life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”
May we all find ways to become our divine essence and manifest it in the world for the benefit of all beings. May we all realize who we truly are, surrendering ourselves to the divine guidance that is always present. May our spirit blossom and flourish while we help others to flourish as well. May we, together, manifest the world our hearts know is possible.
Article by Vasco Gaspar | www.vascogaspar.com
